The Best Of You

In the Name of God, the Subtle, the Loving

The article below is the first article published on the new site Altmuslimah, the sister site of Altmuslim, to which I have been contributing for some time now. God willing, I hope to publish more on both sites.


For many years now, I and countless other Muslim writers, academics, and activists, have worked tirelessly to combat the negative image of Islam and Muslims in the media and popular culture. Frequently, it is a story of repeated frustration and disappointment. Whenever it seems we make headway in our struggle against the misunderstanding of Islam, we get a news story the like of the murder of Aasiya Zubair (may God have mercy on her soul).

When news such as that breaks, we have to start all over again and try to shout over the hatemongers and Islamophobes. Again, it is maddeningly frustrating and disappointing. Yet, images, headlines, and soundbytes are far more powerful than articles, lectures, and blog posts. So are movies and television shows. And when it comes to portraying Muslim men, the image of the misogynistic tyrant is dominant.

Even in films that can be passed off as "pro-Muslim," such as Rendition, the police captain in the film is the same archetype: the tyrannical father figure whose is a dictator at home with his wife and daughter. It is a very powerful shaper of perception, and so many times, perception is reality. And it does have an effect on popular perception.

My wife wears the hijab, and many non-Muslims have the perception that I am making her wear it. Both of us have to constantly remind people that she wears it on her own accord, that I had no idea what her hair looked like when I first proposed to her. Yet, again, this stems from the ubiquitous notion in the media and popular culture that Muslim men are domineering monsters, oppressing their women at every chance they get.

This is terribly frustrating for me, as an American Muslim man. I don't like to be labeled, or even looked at, as an "oppressive husband" simply because I am Muslim. The problem is, however, that I have to contend with the fact that there are Muslim men who oppress their wives. There are Muslim men who abuse their wives and think Islam gives them the right to do so. There are Muslim men who murder their wives, daughters, and sisters in order to "defend the family honor." As much as I hate it, the filth of their sins stain me as well, and it is not right, fair, or just.

Whenever I learn of such terrible crimes committed by Muslim men against their sisters in faith, I wrack my brain in complete despair. Don't they know the example of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)? Don't they know that he was nothing but kind, compassionate, and merciful to his wives? Don't they realize that he helped his wives with their housework, took their advice on very important matters, and really treated them as his partner rather than his subservient? Don't they know of the scores of hadith that begin with "Treat your wives kindly..."? Do they think they are better than the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) when they act like horrific tyrants?

As Muslim men and husbands, we must always look to and learn from the example of our beloved Prophet (pbuh). I am the first-generation son of immigrants to this country. Growing up, I was surrounded by the typical patriarchal family structure. My father was not a brutal tyrant, far from it. Nevertheless, the notion of the "man's role" and the "woman's role" abound throughout my upbringing. When it came time for me to marry, I wanted to be different. I wanted a different kind of marital relationship.

I didn't want my wife to "serve me." I didn't believe that my wife's place was "in the home." I wanted to build a lifelong partnership with her. As I grew older, I started to look more deeply into the example of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and learn how I can be the best husband possible. It is difficult to treat this territory, being surrounded by uncles who ascribe to the "old way." In fact, I remember long ago I was at a picnic, sitting with a number of "uncles." I was doing something to help my wife, and one of the "uncles" berated me, in a friendly manner, for "serving" her like I did.

Yet, we must teach our young men - the future husbands of the Muslim community - that to "be a man" does not mean that you must mistreat your wife; that treating your wife with honor, respect, and kindness is not an "act of weakness"; that your wife is your life partner, not your cook, maid, and other things. We must erase this paternalistic notion of what it means to be a husband, and actually take advantage of the fact that our wives present us with an opportunity to go to Paradise if we treat them with the honor, respect, and kindness they deserve.

Going back to that picnic, when the uncle gave me grief for helping my wife, I said back to him, "The best of you is the one who treats his wife the best," the famous hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). He did not have a response, and all he could do was laugh, but commending me at the same time. That is the standard by which we Muslim men must live. I am not a perfect husband, far from it. But I am trying, and I always try to remind myself of the Prophet's eternal words of wisdom: "The best of you is the one who treats his wife the best." Every day, I work to try to live up to this Prophetic challenge.

Kareem Salama Interview

In the Name of God, the Subtle, the Loving

Thanks be to God, I published an interview with Kareem Salama about his music, his philosophy, and country music. It ran on Beliefnet, and they must be credited if this is reproduced.

A Muslim's Unique Take on Country Music

I was never really a country music fan, and I never thought I would purchase any country music album. That was until I listened to Kareem Salama. I first heard this talented musician at the entertainment session of the Islamic Society of North America conference a few years in Chicago. I thought he was good, but initially I wasn't really that impressed. In fact, I was basically "forced" to buy his album from a friend of mine who wanted to promote him and his music.

But sometimes we’re put on a path that has a good destination, though we don’t know of it at the time. And so when I put Kareem Salama in my iPod, I became forever hooked ... maybe not on country music, but definitely on this country musician.

Born and raised in the small town of Ponca City, Oklahoma, Kareem Salama is the son of (like me) Egyptian immigrants. A chemical engineer and now lawyer by trade, Kareem Salama's his venture into music was long in the making. Writing on his website, Salama says, "I began writing songs when I was very young, but I became a more serious writer because of my love for classical poetry." His songs culminated in his first album, “Generous Peace,” which came out in 2006 and is currently available on iTunes.

The album is a wonderful collection of songs with deep meaning and messages. A soothing spirituality weaves throughout each song, but there is nothing overtly Islamic in this album either, which is exactly how I like Muslim music. You don’t have to be Muslim to listen to this. Kareem Salama doesn't sing "Allah" with a guitar and a cowboy hat.

But I can feel Allah throughout his music. One of my favorites on this album is "Land Called Paradise," in which Salama sings about going to the "Valley of the King." The music video to that song is extremely touching, and it won the Grand Prize in the 2007 One Nation/Link TV film contest. My absolute favorite song, however, is "Lady Mary," where Salama sings about the mother of Jesus is such a beautiful way that it almost always brings tears to my eyes.

Salama’s second album, “This Life of Mine,” came out in 2007. I recently was blessed to interview Salama, and his answers reveal a deeply reflective singer who puts his all in his music.

Click here to read the full interview.

They Passed Him By

In the Name of God, the Subtle, the Loving

One by one, they passed him by
In the heat and sun, they left him lay
"An orphan," would they sadly sigh
"How much, really, can his mother pay?"

When come, they did, to seek a child
Slow and weak was their feeble beast
Delayed and detained were they mile after mile
Could not keep up with the group in the least

But they came away with empty hand
Nothing to show for their long journey
Yet they did not want to return to their barren land
With the very same hands, dusted and empty

"Let us go back," they said to one another,
"Let us take that orphan whom we left at first
He may be blessed even if he is without father
An orphan child may not be such a terrible curse."

And the blessings came as a nourishing rain

Giving strength and zeal to the once feeble mule

To the amazement of all, dead turned to fruited plain

And plenty after little became the regular rule

One by one, they passed him by

In the heat and sun they left him lay

But little did they know that there lie

A Holy Messenger from The One on High

Rallying To The Wrong Cause

In the Name of God, the Subtle, the Loving

For the first time in its history, the International Criminal Court has issued an arrest warrant for a sitting president of a country: Omar Al Bashir of Sudan. He is charged with five counts of crimes against humanity and two counts of war crimes for the crisis in Darfur. According to the United Nations, up to 300,000 people have been killed in the conflict, the overwhelming majority of them being innocent noncombatants. Moreover, scores of women have been raped, villages have been plundered (and bombed), and hundreds of thousands have been forced to flee.

What makes Darfur unique is that both parties to the conflict are Muslim. In Darfur, Muslim brother has killed Muslim brother; Muslim brother has raped Muslim sister; Muslim brother has destroyed Muslim mosques; Muslim brother has destroyed copies of the Qur'an. And the reaction of the Muslim world has been silence...deafening silence. The conflict in Darfur has continued to fester for years on end - when the world allegedly said "No More" after Rwanda - and the Muslim world barely lifted a finger. In fact, in Rwanda it has been documented that Muslims helped protect their non-Muslim neighbors from being slaughtered. Sadly, the Muslims in Darfur were offered no such help by their brothers and sisters around the world.

Enter the ICC and its arrest warrant for President Al Bashir. His reaction, predictably, was angry defiance. In a rally to supporters, Bashir angrily cried, "The true criminals are the leaders of the United States and Europe," claiming this warrant was an act of "neo-colonialism." In addition, President Al Bashir expelled 13 international and 3 local aid organizations for allegedly helping to "spy for the ICC." These organizations include Oxfam, Save the Children, and Medicins Sans Frontieres (Doctors Without Borders). In fact, the Guardian reported on March 13 that three Western aid workers with MSF were abducted in the Darfur region.

To make matters worse, African and Arab allies of Sudan, along with China, have called on the ICC to suspend the warrant, and Muslim countries have rallied to Sudan's side. Representatives from Iran, Yemen, Syria, Jordan, and Palestine all visited the Sudanese capital of Khartoum in a show of support for the indicted Presdient Al Bashir. The Organization of the Islamic Conference also condemned the ICC arrest warrant, saying it undermines past efforts to solve the crisis in Darfur.

Now, it must be said that a legitimate question is raised about why the ICC chose to issue this indictment against this president at this time. Indeed, there are other war criminals who are walking the earth freely without any fear of being arrested by the ICC. Yet, that fact is irrelevant to the issue of Darfur: clearly crimes have been - and are currently being - committed in Darfur and they must be stopped now, and if it takes an ICC indictment of President Al Bashir to spur action, then so be it.

Still, how could it be that it had to take an indictment by the ICC to rally the Muslim world to the cause of Darfur, in support of a possible war criminal at that? Why have the Muslims abandoned the principles of their faith? How could it be that for years, Muslim has been killing, raping, and pillaging other Muslims unabated?

Did not the Qur'an say: "If two parties among the Believers fall into quarrel, make peace between them. If, however, one of them transgresses beyond bounds against the other, the fight (all of you) against the party that transgresses until it complies with the command of God" (49:9)? Do these words have no meaning for the Muslim Ummah today? Are they just beautiful words to be recited on Fridays and during Ramadan, but with no practical application? Where were the hearings about Darfur in the various Muslim capitals across the world, like the hearings in Washington, D.C.? Where were the mass demonstrations by Muslims against the violence in Darfur?

What has happened to the people of Muhammad (pbuh)?

What has happened to the followers of the man who said that if his own daughter Fatima committed a crime, he himself would punish her? Rallying to the side of President Al Bashir now that he is indicted is not a case of "support your brother, right or wrong" as the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said. Quite the contrary. The Prophet (pbuh) said that to support one's brother when he is wrong is to stop him from committing the wrong in the first place. The Muslim world has failed miserably in this respect.

How can the Muslim world sit idly by and watch as its fellow Muslims were being raped and killed by other Muslims? How can Muslims say - with a straight face - that they showed their "love for the Prophet" by sometimes violently protesting a bunch of cartoons, yet do almost nothing to stop the bloodshed in Darfur? The Prophet (pbuh) would have been far more concerned about the killing in Darfur than the stupid cartoons depicting him.

What's more, this entire ICC debacle has exposed a serious crisis of leadership in the Muslim world. It is quite clear that the government of Sudan is at least complicit in the murder, rape, and pillage of the inhabitants of Darfur by the janjaweed militias, if not outright involved. When the ICC moved to do something about the conflict, President Bashir reacted by expelling NGOs that had nothing to do with the ICC, thereby putting millions of people at risk of further suffering. And many Muslims cheered him on!

What has happened to the people of Muhammad (pbuh)?

Once again, there very well may be a political motive behind the ICC's arrest warrant against President Bashir. That possibility, however, does not refute the fact that, had the Muslims stayed true to the principles of their faith, there would have been no need for the ICC to act. Had the Muslims listened to their own holy scripture which says, "make peace between your two (contending) brothers and fear God that you may receive Mercy" (49:10), the conflict in Darfur would have ended long ago. Had the Muslims truly loved their Prophet (pbuh), they would have embodied his statement: "A Muslim is one who does not harm other Muslims with his tongue or hands."

As I reflect upon and celebrate the birth of our Noble Master Muhammad this month, the pain of what is happening around the Muslim world frequently becomes too much to bear. And it becomes all the more painfully clear: the more the world turns, the more I miss the Prophet Muhammad (may the peace, blessings, and mercy of God be upon him).

Crisis of Leadership

In the Name of God, the Subtle, the Loving

This week, we marked the anniversary of the birth of our Beloved, our Prince, our Master, our Messenger Muhammad (pbuh). In his life and example shines brightly a light to guide us on our sojourn on the dark path that is the human condition on earth.

He was the perfect human being; the perfect ruler; the perfect husband; the perfect son; the perfect friend; the perfect companion; the perfect spiritual ruler; the perfect leader. Now, more than ever before, does the Muslim world need the leadership example of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). That is because, nowadays, there is a crisis of leadership in the Muslim world.

Case in point: President Omar Al Bashir of Sudan.

The International Criminal Court issued an arrest warrant for Mr. Al-Bashir for the genocide in Darfur. Let me remind you that this conflict has caused the senseless deaths of over 300,000 people, and scores of women have been raped. The victims of this terrible conflict are Muslims, and the perpetrators are...Muslim also.

Rather than intervening to stop the conflict - as the Qur'an commands him to do - President Al Bashir responds to the arrest warrant by expelling Western aid groups such as Oxfam and Doctors Without Borders. Doctors Without Borders!

What do these aid groups have to do with the conflict? Why make the innocent of Darfur suffer even more now that these groups have been forced to leave?

What kind of leadership is this?

The more the world turns...the more I miss our beloved Master Muhammad (may the peace, blessings, and mercy of God be upon him).

A Song For My Beloved

In the Name of God, the Subtle, the Loving

In honor of my beloved's anniversary of his birth, I wrote this poem for him.

They laughed and jeered because you I followed
They joked and sneered and many times I wallowed
In the loneliness that comes with walking your way
And staying forever true to the things you say

And I needed your shoulder, for me to cry on
The softness of your lap, for me to lie on
If I could have reached out and held your hand
It would've been easier for me to stand

Every day, they call you ruthless
Blood-thirsty and mean, a man who's godless
It pains my heart to see you so called
And the things they say make me so appalled

And I could use your shoulder, for me to cry on
The softness of your lap, for me to lie on
If I could reach out and hold your hand
It would make it easier for me to stand

They look at her and scream in a state
Of anger and scorn, guile and hate
No crime did she commit, no laws did she break
Except put a scarf on her head for modesty's sake

And she could use your shoulder, for her to cry on
The softness of your lap, for her to lie on
If she could reach out and hold your hand
It would make it easier for her to stand

But, alas, your shoulder we can't have
Your soft, sweet hand is long gone
You were taken away, my precious man
To the King, So Glorious all along

And even though I yearn so much for you now
I know that with Him, I will make it somehow

I know that there will be more hills to climb
And I could use your presence, so sublime
But since you left me with a hand Divine
I will not go wrong; I will be just fine

Portrait of American Muslims

In the Name of God, the Subtle, the Loving

"There is nothing," so the saying goes, "like an ugly fact to destroy a perfectly beautiful theory." The constant bad news about Islam and Muslims - along with those who love to focus on such bad news - continually feeds into the negative stereotypes about Islam and Muslims. Yet, when the truth about Muslims comes out, the stereotypes are simply washed away.

Case in point: the Gallup Poll on Muslim Americans.

The poll showed that American Muslims are the most racially diverse of any religious group in the country, and American Muslims are truly a snapshot of the racial composition of the country. In other words, American Muslims are the most "American" of any religious group in the United States. In addition, the poll confirmed that the largest group of Muslims are African-Americans, further destroying the notion that Muslims are somehow "foreign and exotic," as some would have us believe.

The poll also showed that American Muslim women are one of the most highly educated female religious groups, and as a group, American Muslims have the highest degree of economic gender parity, at both ends of the income scale. Again, this destroys the images of American Muslim women being "oppressed."

There are many more findings in the report, and you can read the report here.

Yet, there were some aspects of the study that were concerning, and it should mobilize the American Muslim community to address these issues. The poll found that American Muslims are least likely to report that they are "thriving," and a full 56% say they are "struggling." This is also true for young American Muslims (aged 18-29): they are least likely to describe themselves as "thriving." They are the only group of young people that have a majority which believes that economic conditions are poor.

In addition, only 51% of young American Muslims are registered to vote, which is among the lowest levels reported.

I wonder why these figures were borne out. Perhaps many American Muslims do not feel they are "thriving" because of 9/11 and the anti-Islam hysteria that has resulted? Is it because American Muslims experience a lot of discrimination? This may be, but in the poll, 85% of women and 91% of men said they were treated with respect the day before they were surveyed. So, maybe this is not the answer.

Could there simply be a perception of difficulty, and that is why American Muslims are mostly "struggling"? Could it be that American Muslims are actually much better off than they think they are? Certainly, the poll shows that American Muslims do fare better than their counterparts in other parts of the West, especially Europe. Could this be the answer?

I am particularly concerned about the low level of civic engagement of young American Muslims, especially. There is nothing more important than getting involved, politically and otherwise, and especially registering and going out to vote. We must redouble our efforts to increase American Muslim political participation.

I commend the Gallup Organization for conducting this poll. Not only does it shatter many deeply entrenched stereotypes about American Muslims, it offers an excellent snapshot of the American Muslim community. More importantly, however, it gives us an opportunity to fix whatever problems the community may be facing, so that we can become a better people. Once we are a better people, then society and the world can only become better as well.